1. |
When I Get Out of Jail
01:33
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Gonna buy me a Costco chicken
Gonna find me a fleshy Wiccan
Gonna feel good when the pills kick in
Uh
Gonna get on that internet
Gonna play some French roulette
Gonna eat a cigarette
When I get outta jail
Gonna get up and act real rowdy
Gonna sit down and get real drowsy
Gonna get paid and act real lousy
Don't be there when I'm outta that box
In the evening I only wear socks
My desires are unorthodox
When I get outta jail
Gonna get up and act real rowdy
Gonna sit down and get real drowsy
Gonna get paid and act real lousy
I'll find some discount lingerie
You might receive my resume
Find what's under my toupee
I'll show up at your birthday
When I get out of jail
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2. |
Johnny Was An Archetype
01:37
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Johnny started seeing things
On his 22nd birthday
A priori forms in psychic substrata
Johnny took a hero's quest
Grim the path, and treacherous
Sword and shield preserve him from various arcana
Johnny was an archetype
And his fate will never let him be free
Johnny's a protagonist
Optimized for analysis
All this pressure to embody monomythic themes
Johnny was an archetype
And his fate will never let him be free
Young man
Get out while you can
Johnny's gotta keep his cool
Fighting demons, dragons, wolves and ghouls
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek
Johnny was an archetype
And his fate will never let him be free
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3. |
Of Lepers & Warlocks
01:37
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Merriment of them not wearing pants
Summoning their lizard lord with chants
Riddles of the mystery man you seek
In the ruins, hear the Dreamer’s whiny shriek
How soon!
Druids forget
The not so great taste
Of blood and elf man sweat
Lowly bet in tawdry tavern
Drag the troll to cursed cavern
Beat the drum of spanking till the dawn
Amulets cut from Watcher’s chest
Black top hats and shiny vests
Onward prance, Magician echelon
Midnight in the temple
Midnight in the temple
Midnight in the temple
Of the warlock!
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4. |
(Now You're) 45
01:18
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Are you reading Pitchfork
Are you lurking Reddit
Soundgarden deep cuts
Male pattern baldness
How's TV?
Cool
How's gaming?
Cool
Student loans?
Cool
Now you're 45
Wear a Deftones shirt
Under a bathrobe
Looking like Tom Hanks
In "A League of Their Own"
Remember smoking?
Cool
Remember drinking?
Cool
Remember Seinfeld?
Cool
Now you're 45
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5. |
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I ain't no working stiff
I ain't working no night shift
And getting pinned by the fork lift
Getting punched by the Batman
Getting groined by the Groinman
and dumped in a trash can, no no no
Henchmen’s Local 666
Henchmen’s Local 666
Pow this / blam that/ sock this
Fraternity of toadies
Biff this/ blam that/ zap this
Brotherhood of minions
I ain't getting bathed by the Bathman
Or dumped in a trash can
I am poorly trained and I look like a doorman
Henchmen’s Local 666
No back story, just bats and bricks
Henchmen’s Local 666
Unlimited clips, can't aim for shit
Getting tied up
And hit with sticks in our dicks
By Peter Pan looking pricks
No medical or dental benefits
Henchmen’s Local 666
Henchmen’s Local 666
Henchmen’s Local 666
I ain't no working stiff
It's a bird, it's a plane
It's some fucking prick
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6. |
||||
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Well, well
A power chord fell from the heavens
And it landed on an old-ass man
He passed it down through generations
And it spread all across the land
Many would learn to summon its spell
Ere more who would feel it's wrath
They gathered round amplifiers
A cult of fucking rabid psychopaths
Six-string and four-string and no-string goons
Keyboards and bongos, eighteen hundred bassoons
They hollered and crackled and would not stay in tune
Spilling soda on the carpet in a cousin's spare room
I gotta tell ya
They were astonished by scales, they were bewildered by beats
Saturdays after soccer they became wild beasts
No fortune, no fame, no priests to anoint
Bolting scraps together to make a temple of noise
A kazillion constellations of nasty little stars
Immaculate riffs on piece of shit guitars
Smash the atom, break every bone in your hand
In the name of Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
We all gotta go, the curtain call is at hand
No one gets to stay in this phantasmagoric land
The rabble climb the gates and they have just one demand:
Bring me the head of Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
Zeno's Asymptotic Trouble Band
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7. |
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I rock with the devil
All night long
He uses my shovel
To pack the bong
I light a fire
With my jean jacket sleeve
I get poor quality sleep
And take a nap when the devil leaves
I drink blood from the skull of my enemies
I drink wine from a normal wine glass
All night long
All night long
All night long
I mean eight hours straight
All night long
All night long
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8. |
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(I think I fucked my girlfriend once)
Valentine's Day
He waltzed in the door at a quarter past twelve
Said, "I had some real winners in the studio today
Regular Frank Sinatras
I turned the vocals up real loud
Then I laughed all the way to the bank
HA HA HA"
You wanna go to Ikea or to Target
Someplace like that
He says, "Okay, let me call up David Yow
And we can act like cats"
They played Slint the whole way there
David Yow puked in your Volvo
They got drunk and acted like cats
Meow meow
Meow meow meow
Meow meow
Meow meow meow
You're Steve Albini's girlfriend
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9. |
Weird At the Party
01:01
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Juliet, I'm sorry I was weird at the party
I was high when I got there
And I stayed high
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10. |
Shopping at Night
03:32
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I go shopping at night
The sign says 24/7, 365
Time to surf the glow
On retail network radio
Hey, feels alright
Alright
I get lost, I get found
In every aisle that I float down
I wanna cruise my squeakin' heart
Through this empty mega-mart
Hey, c'mon let's
Go go go
Shopping at night
Go go go
My favorite place is the freezer case to
Go go go
Go go go
While the shelves are asleep
The whole world looks nice and neat
We can spin cartwheels
And take advantage of these deals
Hey, let's go shopping at night
I used to watch blurry bodies do blurry things
I felt the danger in daylight and all it brings
And I wondered if to get out meant
Giving up the best parts of my life
But something called to me
And when I answered it told me
You can go go go
Shopping at night
Go go go
Go go go
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